the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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