Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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