This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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