member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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