I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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