This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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