Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
