you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize