the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
