I love black thongs
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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