your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
