Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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