Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I want a musical about memes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
