oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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