THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
