Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
