Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
