i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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