i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
