take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
