If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would ride that face into the sunset
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
