I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
