Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
