I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
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Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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