He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
