I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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