I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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