As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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