I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
