I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
