i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
