Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
