her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
