the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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