i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
