As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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