Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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