Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize