i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this boner is exhausting
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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