It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
