I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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