Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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