he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
