He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
