Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
