Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
