in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
