Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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