So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
