im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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