I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
