Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
