I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
nutella sex= disaster
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
