this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
how drunk are you?
Several
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
