it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
