U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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