What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The adults are the big ones right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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