these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
