Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
