you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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